


That Ain’t Good Form, Ya Know?

by loOkMA_iTyPeLiKeDiS



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Fraternity, Costumes, Dirty Dancing, Dry Humping, F/M, Kinktober 2018, Pidge is a flexible nerd, Public Sex, Quickies, Shitty Smut, Sort Of, Vaginal Fingering, Wall Sex, halloween party, not really "dry" tho
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-02
Updated: 2018-11-02
Packaged: 2019-08-14 14:25:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,975
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16494314
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/loOkMA_iTyPeLiKeDiS/pseuds/loOkMA_iTyPeLiKeDiS
Summary: Lance is really not a fan of these godawful tights that are cutting off the circulation of blood to his balls, but it’s worth it if he gets to see his girlfriend looking this delicious.





	That Ain’t Good Form, Ya Know?

**Author's Note:**

> i’m late but whatevs…  
> i was too fuqed up to finish writing this last night. i don’t like having finished drafts sitting around so i tried my best to edit on 2 hrs of sleep. if it’s sloppy sloppy oh wellllll hehe 〜(￣▽￣〜)
> 
> Happy (belated) Hallurrrrweeeeen >:3

“Pidge, c’mon,” Lance repeated for probably the tenth time in the last half hour, lying back on her dorm bed and skimming idly through some snaps of some of his friends and their adventures getting ready for their Halloween excursions. “I was supposed to be at the house by now. Party’s starting in five.”

He was supposed to have been there since Trick or Treating at the Frats ended an hour ago to help set up, but he wanted to see what had Pidge so excited about her costume before anyone else did.

“Lance, neither Shiro nor Matt are going to get mad at you for picking up your girlfriend,” Pidge said from around the corner, where she was supposedly still putting on the rest of her costume for the evening. Lance didn’t know why she was spending so much time on it. Honestly, like most clothes she wore to the frats, it would get sweaty and ruined from dancing all night (or if the night ended the way he wanted, torn because of him). “In fact, if Matt does, let me know and I’ll tell him what’s what. Besides, we need to look perfect if we want to win this couple’s costume competition.”

“Perfect at the cost of my dignity…” he grumbled with a roll of his eyes.

He just wanted this to be over and done with. The sooner they got to the party, the sooner it would be over, the sooner his balls would stop getting the everliving life force sucked out of them by how tight his stupid tights were.

Lance honestly would never have chosen to wear something like this (he needed to let his beanbags breathe for fuck’s sake!) but the week before, Pidge had all but ordered him to be the Peter Pan to her Tinkerbell for the couple’s costume party at his frat. Not his proudest defeat, but at that time, she’d had her mouth around his dick—and was doing that swirly thing with her tongue that made him see stars—so saying no hadn’t really been an option.

(It sucked that he could never resist Pidge. Sure, he got some pretty fantastic sex when she was in one of her controlling moods, but dammit, she was _evil_. The things he did for love…).

But now he was trapped wearing the tightest forest green tights he had ever had the displeasure of wearing. They clung to his thighs like a second skin, moulding themselves over the contours of his legs. He was terrified of even bending over, lest he tear a straight gash through the material. He’d tried to make underwear work as best as he could—briefs, tighty whities, an unpleasant man thong that had Pidge cracking up and dying of laughter as he’d been changing—but in the end had to forego all of it because nothing would fit in the formfitting green tights.

And that wasn’t even the worst part.

Lance had tucked his special bits in between his legs as best as he could, but holy shit the tights left absolutely nothing to the imagination.

 _Nothing_.

He wasn’t self-conscious about his body or size or anything but he felt exposed, like anybody could just look down at his crotch and see every outline and every crevice of everything. His butt was practically hanging out for all the coverage. And Lance had long legs so it wasn’t a feature easily missed. He felt like a piece of meat and while he was certain Pidge would be enjoying the view tonight, he wasn’t sure how he felt about being on display for the rest of the world to see. Especially his frat brothers. They would give him hell for this.

(But he desperately hoped other people’s secret costumes were so much worse that everyone would call a silent truce and not make fun of each other. Wishful thinking, but a man could dream).

The rest of his costume was fine and fairly normal, but honestly, he was really going to need to get fucked up drunk to get through tonight.

“Pidge, seriously,” Lance called out again. “It’s not like you to take forever to get ready like this. What’s taking you so long?”

“I haven’t worn makeup in maybe two years. Give me a break. Besides, I’m almost done.”

“That’s what you said twenty minutes ago…”

“I also recall telling you that if you were a good Peter, Tinkerbell would let you do naughty things to her at the end of the night…” Pidge hummed, and Lance cursed his girlfriend’s dangerous blackmail capabilities.

“I’m still trying to figure out why you went with Tink though. She was a traitor, wasn’t she?”

She snorted and to Lance’s relief, he heard the sound of a bag being zipped up. “She just wanted to fuck her man and then he had to go and get himself a new girl.”

“It’s still a couple’s costume party. Isn’t Wendy Peter’s love interest?”

“Doesn’t have to be a romantic couple. Just has to be a pair. And anyway, I felt more connected with Tink because—”

“You’re small?” he ribbed.

“—I had an unrequited crush on you in high school,” Pidge snapped, her voice coming closer as her heels clicked on the tiles towards him. “Plus her costume is cuter and matches my aesthetic more.”

Lance snorted as she rounded the corner. “Yeah, yeah. Keep telling… yourself…”

When Pidge came to stand in front of him, his jaw dropped.

The trademark, little green dress she was wearing was sinfully short and unbelievably tight, showing off her lithe figure and her cute ass. The dress looked one sharp tug away from being yanked off her body and leaving her completely exposed. If he thought his costume exposed him, he was downright wrong, because hers _truly_ left nothing to the imagination and he couldn’t help his gaze dropping and lingering on her breasts and the outline of her nipples. She couldn’t hide anything either, and something about that made him instantly possessive and turned on.

“You like, babe?” Pidge said with a teasing smirk, blinking at him through her eyelashes and making him swallow hard as he sat up.

When Pidge spun around for him to show off the back, he felt his voice get caught somewhere in his throat. Because he could definitely see the creamy skin of her ass peeking out from under the monstrously short skirt and her entire back was exposed save for the wing accessory and suddenly, Lance wanted nothing more than to shove her up against a wall and bury himself inside her.

Lance loved Pidge’s frumpy look to bits and pieces and she turned him on nearly any time she talked nerdy to him, but she always took him by surprise when she changed it up on him, all red lipstick and big gorgeous eyes with sultry makeup and seductive and barely clothed and showing off those sexy fucking legs of hers with the pumps she’d decided to pair her outfit with tonight.

So. Much. Exposed.

(And easy to access).

Holy fucking shit he was a goner.

“…What was that you said about Peter being good?” Lance choked out when she pulled him up to his feet by the front of his tunic.

She tugged him down and he kissed her almost mindlessly, hands roving down her sides and skimming to her thighs to paw at her under her dress. Pidge let out a contented little noise as she rose to her tiptoes and wound her arms around his waist. Honestly, the sound hit him just right and it set his mind on one course. Suddenly, the Halloween party and his stupid nut-squeezing tights didn’t even matter anymore as long as he could get her to ride him in this outfit.

“Where’s your underwear?” Lance groaned, realising that there was nothing separating his fingers from the soft, creamy flesh.

She had a carnivorous gleam in her eyes. “Thong.”

Pidge was going to be the death of him.

When he tried to kiss her again though, she pulled away with a small shake of her head.

“Whoa there. Careful now, Mr. Sharpshooter,” she muttered against his lips, and then cupped his ass cheeks in her hands and squeezed. Lance had to exhale slowly through his nose when she tugged him closer and pressed herself against his groin. “Wouldn’t want people to know you’re sprung…”

Then she backed off completely with a snicker, and Lance stared at her chagrined, knowing he wasn’t going to make it through the night if Pidge kept her antics up. As it stood, he’d already gotten a little hard and it wasn’t something he could hide with his costume, not to mention how uncomfortably tight it would get.

(But from the way her eyes lingered on his crotch and she licked her lips, he knew she knew and something told him she was going to try to rile him up on purpose).

“There’ll be plenty of time for that later. C’mon, Lance. Let’s go have some fun!”

They grabbed their stuff and she wrapped her hand in his with a sweet smile marred with just a tinge of something devious as she tugged him out of her room. The only thing he could focus on was the back of the skirt, swishing up dangerously high as she walked and threatening to give him a glorious view of her backside.

He was so fucked.

 

…

 

Getting to his frat house occurred with minimal issues, save for the occasional catcall and the wildly inappropriate comments and gestures from other drunk college kids. He honestly couldn’t remember most of what Pidge had been saying on the way though because he’d been enraptured by the slope of her neck and tempted to bend down and kiss her there. She’d also been distracted, frequently pinching his ass and circling him like a hungry vulture wanting its prey.

The air in the house was all musky and heavy and thick with alcohol and the smell of too many bodies packed in one place. The bass for the music was pounding so hard he could feel it vibrating in his chest. He spotted all sorts of couples: iconic superhero pairs, Han and Leias, a crap ton of clever, reimagined versions of Disney couples, cartoon duos like Pebbles and Bamm-Bamm and Shaggy and Scooby-Doo, cute ones like Waldo and Wanda, and video game duos like Mario and Princess Peach. Most people went all out with their costumes, but he didn’t blame them considering first prize was five hundred dollars.

Lance ended up parting ways with Pidge because he was on door duty for the first half hour and then alcohol duty for the next, but they’d meet back up when he was done with his tasks. He’d spent most of the time fantasising about Pidge and it did help the time pass by a little faster while he handed out drinks. By the end of his and Hunk’s shift, Lance was itching to see her.

“Nice tights by the way.” Hunk said from beside him, snickering as he gave someone a solo cup of punch. “They really highlight your… assets.”

Lance downed a shot of something blue, wincing at the sting but not even questioning where the hell Matt got these crazy ideas for mixing drinks.

“Don’t remind me… If I get a boner, the whole world is going to know. And Pidge isn’t making it easy.”

“Yeah I noticed what she was wearing earlier.” Hunk chuckled, taking a shot of the same drink and then wincing from the burn too. “She’s totally fucking with you, you know?”

“I’m trying not to think about it. What are you and Shay supposed to be anyway?” Lance wondered, staring at Hunk’s hobo looking outfit with the newsboy cap. He was smudged with charcoal and had a broom with him, and Lance hadn’t seen Shay yet tonight so he couldn’t really make any guesses.

“Bert and Mary Poppins,” Hunk replied, and Lance nodded, impressed. “Did you see Acxa and Romelle though? Their dates couldn’t come so they came as Ivy and Harley Quinn.”

“Yeah, their costumes are great. Think they’ll win?”

Hunk shook his head with a laugh. “They’re good, but no way. Keith and Shiro are. Hands down.”

“What are they dressed up as?” Lance hadn’t seen Keith yet though he did see Shiro sporting a pair of bunny ears earlier.

“Oh you’ll see.”

On the last few minutes of their shift, Lance and Hunk finished off a blunt while discussing the merits of sexy costumes versus funny ones, and by the time James came around to relieve them of their duty, they had downed so many more shots with it that they were stumbling around and laughing their asses off at everything. He felt loopy and the good vibes around him made him feel like he was floating. By now, the party was really swinging and wild with sloppy drunks out on the floor and people making out in corners, like that Catwoman and Morticia Addams by the foosball table.

They both went off to find their girlfriends and Lance ended up running into Allura and Lotor flirting closely on the stairwell. She’d dyed one half of her hair black and was wearing a hella ton of black and white leather in her interpretation of a dominatrix Cruella de Vil.

“Have any of you guys seen Pidge?” he yelled over the music.         

“Last I saw, she was dancing,” Allura responded, eyeing his crotch with a barely concealed smirk and Lance felt his cheeks heat up a bit. “Pidge really wasn’t kidding about that package, huh…?”

Lotor however was giving him a sympathetic look, and Lance felt for him too considering he had a leash around his neck, some fake spotted ears on his head and was wearing a Dalmatian spotted mankini that looked like it was barely hanging on.

And _nothing_ else.

Lotor’s costume was easily the skimpiest of any guy’s at the party, and whatever way Lance had been feeling about his own costume disappeared. Lance felt secured that he wouldn’t be made fun of much over his costume when compared to Lotor, he was basically wearing a full set of winter’s clothing.

One of Allura’s sorority sisters saw her and she ran to her as they started squealing their greetings.

“I swear to God, the sex tonight better be mindblowing to make up for this…” Lotor grumbled in irritation. “If my father catches wind of this…”

Lance snorted. Lotor’s father was on the board of trustees at Garrison University, but even so, pictures would probably end up everywhere. Lance didn’t know how Allura had gotten Lotor to agree to that horrifying costume, but he was seriously impressed.

“Laugh it up while you can, Lance,” Lotor gave him a wry smirk and started to leave when Allura tugged on his leash. “Allura is Pidge’s Peer Leadership mentor so I’d expect your girlfriend to do the same to you in a matter of a year or so.”

It was something Lance had some trepidations about—Allura was easily one of the most terrifying girls he’d ever met—but he couldn’t deny that there was a part of him that would find it a true turn on if Pidge ever dressed up as a dominatrix and had her way with him.

Lance grabbed another shot on his way to the den where the music was blasting the loudest and so many people were crammed in the room shouting the dirty lyrics of the song and dancing on each other. He wedged his way through the thick group trying not to think about someone’s hands that had smacked him on the ass until he found Pidge giving Rizavi a drunken, goofy lap dance on the couch by the side of the room.

And he had to stop for moment, just standing there, incredibly turned on by her movements and the racy look on her face.

God, she was hot.

Then Pidge glanced up and they made eye contact and she crooked her finger and beckoned him over with this heady, lust-filled look in her eyes like she wanted to ravish him or something and Lance found himself sucked into her orbit even if she wasn’t really trying.

“Lance!”

When he got to her, Pidge jumped to her feet and hugged him, nearly tripping in the process and starting to laugh hard. Lance buried his face in her hair and breathed in, just glad that he could _finally_ be with his girlfriend like he’d wanted to all night. His hands roamed down her sides to her waist and he gave her a lingering squeeze. Pidge made a soft, aroused noise of appreciation that went straight to his dick. Rizavi took one look at them and then made some excuse about needing to hydrate and fucked off.

“You know, I’m still wondering why Tink decided to wear hooker heels…” he said playfully, pecking her softly on the lips when she puckered her lips at him. “Not that I’m complaining.”

Pidge grinned like she was so happy to see him and it made his heart dance in his chest. “She’s trying to seduce Peter Pan.”

“Consider him seduced.”

Conversation turned into dancing when the song changed and Pidge looped her arms around his shoulders, pressing flush against him with a hooded gaze. Lance found himself lost in a daze of Pidge’s swivelling hips, their mouths connected more often than not, and electricity charging between them. He was aware his hands had drifted down to her ass of their own accord, but Pidge didn’t seem to mind and he didn’t want to take his hands off her for one second.

“Turn around…” he muttered against her lips.

Pidge rotated in his arms and backed her ass up into his crotch. He gripped her hips as they moved together to the beats of the raunchy music, what little space existing between them disappearing as he pulled her up against his chest. Pidge curled a hand behind his neck and clawed it in his hair, rolling and swaying and sinfully swivelling her hips and he couldn’t help but exhale shakily from the soft ripples of pleasure dancing down his back with the contact she made with his groin.

The friction from her ass grinding on him was a lot more than he had anticipated. It felt entirely too good and Lance sucked on her neck, kissing a languid path down along her exposed shoulder and relishing in the small shiver he felt coming from her when his breath drifted on her skin. His mind was muddled and he couldn’t fight the hazy state of arousal even if he tried.

Pidge looked like she was light-headed too. Her eyes closed in bliss as his hand skimmed her inner thigh and moved between her legs. Lance palmed her through her skimpy undies, and he couldn't help but love how wet she was already. The more he touched her, the more his hand was getting soaked. She arched into his hand, mewling like a cat and Lance couldn’t help his smirk on her sweaty skin. But then she pushed herself more firmly against his boner in retaliation, and when his breath hitched, he saw her lips pull up in a smirk.

He was switched on as hell, and he couldn’t think straight with Pidge this close, her sweet perfume assailing his nose and the easy view he had down the front of her dress. Plus she felt really good grinding against him. It was erotic, the air scorching hot and their faces flushed and bodies slick with sweat and full of the scent of their rising lust. The pack of horny college kids around them went forgotten as their little dance turned into something else entirely. Lance dipped a finger into her silky heat and when Pidge’s desperate little whimper drifted in his ear through the blaring music, blood rushed completely south and his mind could only focus on how much he needed to be inside her.

“Pidge…” he muttered, his fingers faltering for a moment when they made brief eye contact and he saw the same fiery desperation and desire in her eyes.

She nodded rapidly, and he guided her forward with a gentle push through the crowd until they were out of the huge horde and she was squished between the den wall and his body. Lance sucked on a sensitive point of her neck, resuming his strokes and sliding two fingers in her and pumping loosely. Pidge pushed back against his erection, palms flat against the wall and biting back moans as he worked her, caressing her soft skin underneath the little nest of curls.

The pressure against his dick made pleasure burn through him and somewhere in his shallow breathing, he was pretty sure he told her unintelligibly that he wanted to be inside her.

“We can’t— _fuck_.” Pidge’s sentence ended in a high pitched little moan when he pressed a thumb on her clit, rubbing it in a slow, torturous circle. “You’d have to come in me… _holy shit, yes_ … and then cleanup… _don’t stop_ … we’d miss the contest.”

They couldn’t just dry hump like this though. If he creamed his tights, that stain wouldn’t go away and everyone would know what had happened. But if he didn’t take care of this erection right now, _everybody_ would know he had one. There was no hiding it, not to mention the tights felt like they would rip if he didn’t get some relief right now.

“Blowjob?” Lance asked hopefully.

“Did you shower before the party?” She trembled a bit when he continued to tease her petal soft folds. “Lance, I love getting you off, but…”

“Fair enough.” He could get creative. “Lift up your leg.”

Lance caught her right leg when she raised it and hooked his elbow under her knee. With his free hand, he pulled himself out of his tights, taking care not to let his precum drip onto his or her costume. He stroked himself, slicking himself up and then rocked his hips forward as he rubbed himself on the wet folds of her entrance. The first touch of her warmth on his cock had him groaning in bliss and he could only wish he could ensconce himself within her.

The position was a little hard to maintain and he had to squat which made his thighs burn, but she moved against him using the wall to push back on his thrusts, and it felt like heaven when they got a frenzied pace going, grinding desperately on each other. Heat was radiating from her and Pidge was mewling and the tension in his balls grew more focused and tight.

Anyone who even glanced in their direction would definitely know what the hell was going on, but the adrenaline rush of possibly getting discovered only turned him on more and he grunted, jerking just a little bit faster against her slickness. Some of her entrance was impeded by the fabric from her wet thong and the friction from it dragging along his dick ignited the throbbing of heat through his body to fire. They were sloppy and he had to readjust to catch her clit as he moved against her, but something about the desperation to get themselves off and the wild crowd behind him, bass reverberating throughout the room and Pidge’s scent and her noises and the stifling heat surrounding him was quickly throwing him over the edge.

This was going to be over embarrassingly fast, but he didn’t care.

Pidge leaned back against his chest, her raised leg shaking, but she was panting hard and her eyes were closed in concentration as she reached down between her legs and fingered her clit and he knew she was also just about to come because her little moans were getting higher pitched. He felt filthy and he couldn’t believe they didn’t even have the decency to move up to his room or something and finish what they started, but it was increasingly harder to think about anything than the sharp pressure building in his groin. He wanted to hold off on coming for a bit, but they had to do this quick before anyone noticed them. They’re weren’t particularly isolated, even if the floor was crowded and full of people too drunk to care for the most part.

A few more thrusts later and Pidge bit down hard on her lip when her orgasm hit her. He felt her tense and she squeezed her eyes shut, fisting her hands as her breathing came out in short pants. Lance rutted against her moist centre a few more times before his release hit him swiftly. His body shuddered as he came, the thick cum spurting out and splattering itself on the wall.

They both stared down at the smear of milky fluid, blinking in surprise.

“Shit. Didn’t think that through,” Lance said through his heaving breaths as he set her quivering leg down. “…I’ll just leave it there for now.”

He knew it was a mess someone in the frat would have to clean up eventually and he felt horrible about the spatter of his cum on the wall, but at the end of the day what was one more stain in a sea of suspicious stains that existed in the house? And would likely increase after tonight.

And if no one discovered it, he’d come back later and clean it up.

Pidge cracked up in between gasps to catch her breath, leaning against him and tilting her head back to rest on his chest. “Oh my God, Lance, you are so gross.”

Lance kissed her forehead softly, wrapping an arm around her waist to support her because he could tell her legs were still shaking a bit. He himself needed to hold on to the wall for support too, and it took a few seconds for him to feel like he wasn’t about to collapse. He was still semi-hard—and desperately wanted to be inside his girlfriend—but this was better than walking around fully-cocked.

She rearranged her dress from where it had bunched up on her hips and once she was decent and Lance had made sure he didn’t have cum all over his dick when he tucked himself back in, they pulled away from the wall. Pidge stumbled a bit in her heels, and she was favouring her right leg, and Lance promised her he’d make it up to her for forcing that awkward position.

(Although he hadn’t realised Pidge was that flexible in the first place and now he was thinking they should definitely experiment with their positions more).

After that, they went to get another cup of special punch before the costume contest commenced. In the end, they didn’t win. They’d been docked points for an inappropriate display since Lance couldn’t particularly hide his ever existing half-boner. (Lance held Pidge _fully_ responsible). But Lotor and Allura had actually gotten disqualified when Lotor’s costume could no longer handle the strain and snapped, exposing him and leaving him buck naked on the makeshift stage. It was easily the highlight of and funniest moment of the night.

But everyone pretty much unanimously agreed that Shiro and Keith deserved to win for dressing up as Roger and Jessica Rabbit. Lance had to hand it to them. There was no way anyone could ever top Shiro wearing nothing but red overalls and a bow tie in bunny ears and _especially_ Keith in a glittery red evening gown showing off his legs, the purple gloves, super high stilettos, hair and makeup styled exactly like the cartoon character, but above that, the fake boobs. The crowd had gone wild and Lance just about died of laughter when he saw Keith.

All in all, his frat had thrown a successful party, and Lance and Pidge had spent the rest of the night playing pong and other drinking games with Hunk and their friends, teasing Keith over his costume, and dancing some more. When the 2 AM campus party curfew hit and people started to leave, Matt told them they could worry about cleaning up in the morning. (Mostly because more than half of them had already disappeared with their SOs to their rooms). Once the remaining few of them had made sure everyone not given the okay to stay was out of the house, Lance had located Pidge sitting on the kitchen counter as she waited for him, kicking her legs back and forth and munching on a bag of chips.

By now her makeup was smudged and her short hair was a bit frizzed up and her heels were long gone and she’d ditched the wings in his room earlier, but all he could think about was how sexy she still looked in her dress even post partying.

And how much he wanted to fuck her all night.

“So,” Lance said with a smirk, placing his hands on the counter on either side of her and leaning in. “Has Peter Pan been a good lost boy?”

“Absolutely not. Peter Pan left his nasty splooge on the wall,” Pidge responded dryly though she set the chips down in favour of toying with his collar flirtatiously. “But I suppose I can overlook that since we still won third. Urgh, I can’t wait to be out of this costume.”

“Uh no, the costume’s def staying on. And the heels and wings. It’s not every day you get a chance to come all over a sexy fairy’s face.”

“You’re such a perv.” But she couldn’t stop her smile.

He winked. “Only for you, babe.”

Then he scooped her up over his shoulder with a grin, racing off towards the stairs to his room as Pidge laughed.

**Author's Note:**

> (if you don’t know what a mankini looks like, I highly encourage you to look it up ^^)


End file.
